"Missionary Graveyard"

     No one likes the word "graveyard."  It's sad, it's ugly, and to many, it's creepy.  I think that's why this stuck out to me so much when I heard it today so casually from a team member when she was telling me about learning of the "graveyard for missionaries" during training before moving to Rome.  After hearing it once, I was curious and googled it online and surprisingly found it’s a fairly popular term for this beautiful country (one blog article is now included in my links).

     After more than two weeks in, I've been able to hear from 4 team members about their start and work here, and from our leader, a brief synopsis of research he did upon arriving in Rome several years ago and about the ‘progress’ of missionaries before us.  That’s been encouraging to me, to see and be reminded the things I’ve been struggling with over the last few weeks are not unique. 

    Okay, back to the missionary graveyard.  Why?  Well for starters, this city is the darkest place I have ever lived.  Whenever friends have been messaging me with the “how’s Rome?” question, that’s the first thought that comes to mind.  I’m aware there are many, many regions in the world that are just as desperate for the light of Christ, so I am only comparing what I know from my own experiences.  There are spirits of oppression and depression here that are so strong, and start to weigh on you over the hours away from fellow believers. 

     An interesting thing that I heard earlier this week is how Roman Catholics are different than anywhere else, and boy do I see that.  Here, Catholicism isn’t something that’s chosen, but it’s a cultural definition you are born into.  Basically, if you’re Italian then you’re Catholic- for many, that doesn’t indicate a basis of faith. The idea of choosing a belief system for oneself is totally foreign to Italians, and a point they have to stop and process the testimony of a believer, when they here how one used to live for self, then chose to live for Christ.

     Another reason Italy, and Western Europe in general, is so difficult to invest in spiritually is because relational ministry is slow.  Sometimes it takes years to see the fruit of your labor in the Lord, through the building blocks of one lunch or hang out at a time.  When we think missionary, we think of third world nations where we can meet physical needs, or we think of countries with outwardly forceful governments where the name of Jesus is hidden from the people.  We think of places where you hear exciting statistics where hundreds of people come to God in one event.  We don’t think of places that serve as common vacation spots, much less places where there are churches throughout the city streets and people are living more than sufficiently.  We really don’t think of places where you can spend a year of your life and maybe see one person give their life to Christ.  In these places it is very easy to feel defeated living and serving, and these places have some of the highest turnover rates for missionaries staying and returning in the world....hence the idea of a graveyard for missionaries.

     My team leader uplifted me yesterday just by saying Italy has a dire need for believers simply to come here and live their life.  There are so few here who really love the Lord, with that reckless abandon, Jesus have my life because I am so thankful for You, love.  When Italian students hear the name of Jesus, they automatically assume one of two things: 1. Catholic (insinuating cultural or hypocritical) 2. Cult.  While fortunately we do not live in fear of physical persecution in our faith, this environment is a whole different kind of hostile.  Much of our work here is literally doing life with these people as a follower of Christ, slowly removing the rocks of lies so we can sow in seeds of truth when opportunities arise.   That takes time and that opens up a whole new doorway for constant spiritual warfare and feelings of worthlessness, discouragement, and frustration.  Praise the Lord for the promises in His Word…even when we can’t see the results of our obedience, we can trust His Spirit is at work and He has some sort of plan.

       What’s God’s plan for the world? Every tribe and every tongue shall sing praises (Rev. 7:9) and He shall be exalted among all the earth (Psalm 46:10)…that includes Italy.  Despite whatever the enemy tries to tell us otherwise, despite what we see and feel, God is at work and His glory will shine!  

Making Friends

Well it was quite a busy weekend, but great for relationship building!

Friday I got to meet with four Italian students who came to Athens, GA for a ten day cultural exchange I helped in hosting shortly before I came to Rome.  It was great to see those girls again, some familiar faces in a new place.  After our official meeting two of the girls, Manuela and Sara took me to one of their favorite shopping streets. It's neat, Manuela and I already had some sporadic spiritual conversations over the weekend, so I'm hoping those questions continue.

Manuela insisted on treating me to a common treat here in the summer, basically the equivalent of a slushie.  It was the first time I've seen ice since leaving the states, a commodity you don't think to appreciate until you're without (much like with a dishwasher, dryer, car, and other things I'm getting used to not having).

Slushie guy shaving off chunks of ice for our drinks.
He seemed to enjoy giving suggestions on flavor combinations for the American's first granita.

We got to spend a good part of Sunday together as well, going to lunch at McDonalds by the Spanish steps (quite a hot spot here) and the gardens at Villa Borghese.  It was funny because Sunday was actually Sara's first time at Villa Borghese and I had been several times before when studying abroad, so in that small area I knew more directions than a local.  For those that know me and my (supposedly lacking) abilities with directions, that's pretty rare.

The overlook in Villa Borghese where you can see the entire city,
with Manuela in the center and Sara on the right.

Friday evening I met a friend of Taylor's and Cristina's (two girls on the team) from the UK, Pippa.  The rest of the weekend I was with those girls and a few others from Italy.  It was so great getting to have time just to hang out with the three girls and start forming real friendships.  Taylor and Cristina because they are the only believers here close to my age and going to be my core accountability and encouragement here.  While quite different in beliefs than me, Pippa is so sweet and really funny, so I enjoyed just getting to know her and beginning a friendship I believe will carry through this year.  We're already making plans to go visit her in London in November, and I'm so excited to have these girls in my life within a week of moving!

Cristina, Taylor, me, and Pippa

Yesterday afternoon Cristina, Pippa, and I went out for a picnic to enjoy the first feel of autumn.  Riding down to the park together was pretty amusing, because we realized while we all spoke English, we each had strong accents- Australian, British, and "the cute southern twang."  We're all about cultural diversity, it looks like there will be random nations represented in our group as visitors come and go throughout the year!

Settling In

     The suitcases are unpacked, jet lag is no longer an issue, I have my own set of keys, and I can at least find my way to the supermarket-I guess that means I'm beginning to settle in!

     Fortunately the apartment I share with my roommate, Taylor, is certainly spacious enough for two even though it is the classic "European" layout.  I'm thankful to have my own room, and we have a couple of little balconies that can each fit a few chairs.  There are three different keys I'll have to get used to in order to get in, one for the gate, one for the building, and a massive skeleton key for our apartment itself.  For someone that struggles with just a front door key, that'll be a laugh.

Balcony that attaches to our kitchen and that has become my
favorite spot to enjoy coffee and reading in the mornings.

We live in the southern part of Rome, outside of the center walls (where most of the historical monuments are located that come to mind when we think of Rome).  Yes, I have a Rome mailing address now too, which is quite exciting!

Via R.R. Garibaldi 119 E/5

Roma, Italia 00145

     Italian culture is far different than I even anticipated from prior knowledge and hearsay.  Becoming a part of a truly relational culture is going to be more difficult than my American, independent self realized.  Last night I went out with Taylor and her Italian friends for the first time and started to pick up on the subtle little things that will require me to check myself often.  Since we were tired long before it looked like anyone was ready to go, I thought that we could just walk back to our apartment with another friend of ours.  In the states that wouldn't be a big deal at all, it's quite common for someone to drop in or duck out early from a group gathering, and no one thinks anything of it.  Here though, if we would have left before the group was ready to go, it would have been quite offensive.  Glad I learned that early in the game!

     Be in prayer for the Italians as a people group.  Because they are so relational, it's evident that they are ripe for the gospel in the aspect of a relationship with Christ.  The challenges will be earning their trust and acceptance, something that will not come quickly or easily, and diminishing skepticism towards religion.  Thankfully our God can move mountains, so He can most certainly build bridges and soften hearts!

I'm here!

Well it has been an absolutely crazy ride, but I’m finally here!  After the flight from London two of the mission team members were waiting for me at the airport, ready to take me to the typical Italian welcome dinner of pizza and gelato.  My apartment is awesome, my roommate seems great, and now it’s time to begin life and Rome!  Even Google greeted me in Italian upon this first login.  Four months ago when I received this opportunity to serve college students in Italy as part of a church planting team, it was hard to imagine actually getting to this point. 

Praise the Lord for the pieces of confirmation He graced me with all summer long, for remembering His character and faithfulness has kept me going through all the doubts, fears, and uncertainties leading up to today.  Between being denied on my first attempt at a visa, worrying about enough financial support coming in to simply get started in Rome, trying to get everything together to move, struggling through saying goodbye to so many people I love, exhaustion from combating spiritual attacks, and wondering if I’m truly the person who will be made competent to do this job, it has been an emotional rollercoaster. Whenever the voice of the Holy Spirit was too soft for me to hear myself, God graced me with affirmation on this path to Rome by words of reassurance through others.  Specific moments of clarity are still very vivid in my mind:

-There was the service at Watkinsville First Baptist where Pastor Carlos talked about our need as a church to pray for workers for the harvest, for people to be so moved and filled with the urgency of sharing the gospel now they have no choice but to go.  I remember crying the whole last part of his message, knowing he was talking about me as the Spirit moved to erase doubts I was already having only two weeks after committing.  A few of my girlfriends surrounded me with prayer after the service, and we all just sat there crying long after chairs were cleared and people were gone (I imagine then the boys around us were completely clueless as to why there was a mess of sobbing girls).

-Two specific moments from Superwow camp this summer, the first being when I was driving back to camp with my new crutches and really annoyed with God.  When I was asking why, He simply told me “you need to learn to receive grace.”  Well, He was right (as always), and the whole first week at camp I was broken of self-sufficiency, as I had to rely on others for help.  Three weeks later on our last night in Jekyll together, the staff blew me away with an envelope of almost $1,800 they had collected for my trip.  While I was worried about not actively raising support because I was at camp, God completely took control and literally dropped money in my hands. 

-The college ministry worship service and my commissioning at WFBC, when I was completely enveloped by a crowd of prayer warriors so great I could not even see who was beyond the first few rows.  At that moment I felt the Lord’s love and peace in a special way like never before, and knew I was not going to make this move alone.  Our God is not confined to time or space, and only mere distance will be separating me from that part of His family, my Athens family. 

           

There are far more I could share, all tales of God’s goodness in meeting me where I was, with beautiful members of His body who have truly loved and encouraged me on this journey. Thank the Lord I am blessed with some absolutely amazing people in my life.  I have been blown away by the love and support of family and friends who have stood alongside me over the last few months, and who I know will be lifting me up in prayer and encouraging me while I’m away from home.  Whenever the voice of the Holy Spirit was too soft for me to hear myself, God graced me with words of reassurance through others.  Despite doubts, fears, crazy emotions, and anxieties, I am finally here!

My job description for this year really is perfect. It ties together my first commitment to the call to missions at a winter youth retreat in 7^th grade, the attachment to Italy after a spring break trip in 10^th, the compassion for the people after studying in Rome a semester my 2^nd year, the desire to serve in ministry from recent months, relational and organizational skills I have acquired through internships with a youth group for a summer and SWAT Ministries last school year, group teaching experience I received from Superwow, and even my training for a business degree in Economics.  When I go over the list anew, I’m reminded of how detailed our God is and how we are uniquely and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14).  I will be teaching English classes and business seminars, arranging social activities, doing administration work, critiquing resumes, and meeting students at the university and inviting them to our facility.  All of these things are simply means to make relationships with college students, so I may be the broken vessel for the Lord to shine through and reveal His love to them in a new way. 

I assure you not all posts will be this long, but consider this the background; the prelude for all that will come this year. I am excited about the things I don’t even know are coming, for after all, God always goes above and beyond our wildest hopes and dreams (1 Co. 2:9).  To Him be all the glory, and to us the honor of giving it all back to Him (Is. 43:7).   

            Countdown to Rome= complete!