One Year Later...

Hey friends, tonight's post is going to be a little different.  Rather than focusing on the stories in the last week and a half (they'll make the March newsletter, no worries), I thought it'd be neat to write about something the Lord's been reminding me of the last few days.  He is faithful.  Always.

One year ago exactly, I was wrapping up one of the most incredible SWAT weekends I was blessed enough to coordinate.  It was in East Ellijay, and boy, the whole week leading up to the weekend was crazy.  I had several leaders drop out 1-2 days before, and through talking with leaders on the weekend I saw how almost every one had experienced severe spiritual warfare in that week.  I was no different.

Last March could be classified as a month of storms for me, and ironically so can this March.  Both have been marked by death, frustration, uncertainty, anxiety over the future, loneliness, discouragement, sickness, and even small daily inconveniences adding up.  Both were months I felt robbed of joy, months where God was quiet and I was waiting.  Both months still had good days and brighter points, but overall they've been months where I just really needed to see the Lord in the waiting.

Back to East Ellijay...last March I still did not know that I was going to be in Italy this year.  Plans after graduation were at the forefront of my prayer life, but God had things He was teaching me in the waiting. With the two options at that point I was feeling pulled towards, Italy and staying with SWAT, I knew I would need to raise support for this year.  Independent, self-sufficient Chelsea did not want to raise support.  I was fighting God pretty hard on that one, struggling with unbelief and running scenarios through my head on different ways I could make enough money to live on solely by working over the summer (completely unrealistic).

When all the leaders finally arrived in East Ellijay on Friday afternoon before we went to meet the students, our meeting was terrible.  Various circumstances cut into our allotted time for corporate prayer, the most important thing to do before going to love teenagers like Jesus.  There was a spirit of discouragement hanging around the room, and it was by far the least peppy send off into a weekend I've ever seen..my fault, as the coordinator.  I remember feeling so frustrated that the enemy was still interfering with my precious SWAT leaders, and in turn, the hungry students on that weekend.  That night I fell asleep praying that the Lord would not allow Satan any more room into the weekend, that all the opposition was only a sign of the greater things God had in store for us...

That Saturday night, March 26th, 2011, is a night I hope I will remember the rest of my life.  Saturday morning and afternoon went smoothly, normal as far as SWAT weekends go.  Leaders had started bonding with their groups, programs were close to schedule, the youth pastors were happy...it was good.  Or so we thought, until we saw what God means by GOOD.  Saturday night, after the speaker finished, the Holy Spirit did not.  The meeting room with over 400 people was on fire.  It was one of the closest pictures I think I will ever see of heaven while I'm on earth.  I still remember each leader I encountered during that time of worship, the worship that extended far beyond when students were "supposed to" return to their homes.  I still remember the looks on faces of all ages, everything from amazement to thanksgiving to repentance to humility to awe to sheer joy.  There was a time I thought the floor might collapse from the weight of people dancing, jumping, falling to their faces all over the place.  Without a doubt, Satan had been giving his all to disheartening all of us and attacking our students in his best attempt to undermine what God wanted to do, but God is bigger.  "God," I wrote in my prayer journal that night, "You are alive, and You are moving....It's almost laughable now, all the warfare before-You always win!!"

The next morning, it didn't stop.  One on one times with students after that service were wonderful, from the stories I heard.  The Sunday morning service we attended at a Southern Baptist church yet again, was met by the Spirit...and I loved how the worship pastor stepped back, and allowed the students to listen to Him and keep going as they were moved.  I'm so thankful they did, because God met me yet again that morning, and broke me free from my fears about provision for the next year.  I committed to the Lord that morning, March 27th, I would live off support.  I didn't know what I would be doing, where He was leading, but I knew He would raise support, He would do the work, and He would provide, because I am His child and He loves me.

After church most of the SWAT leaders went to a local Zaxby's, oh how I miss it.  As I was saying goodbye to Jona, a dear friend of mine, I told her I was going to live off support next (this) year.  She gave me $10, and said God would multiply it.  Well Jona...you were right.  He did, and He is still.  That $10 bill is now in my room here in Rome.

a beautiful reminder, every time I see it!

So here's the thing: I'm in Rome, a year later.  A year later, I'm uncertain yet again what I'm doing after this point right now.  A year later, I'm praying for breakthroughs with the Lord.  A year later, I'm asking God to make a way, wherever and whatever that way may be.  The difference?  God has shown me over the last year that He is always faithful.  He's provided for me in every sense.  He's given me the desires of my heart over this year, including desires I didn't even know I had until they were placed in my hand.  Now, God has been taking care of me for a long time, years before that weekend in East Ellijay.  I was just too doubtful to believe He would keep doing it, and even more, that He wanted to give me the things I asked for in accordance to His will (1st John 5:14-15).

Yesterday afternoon I went to a nearby park for some time alone and away with my Savior, as my sweet friend Melissa suggested.  A change of scenery really does help, especially when that change puts us in the midst of His creation.  I laughed when He led me to this verse in Numbers:

"God is not a man, that He should lie,

nor a son of man, that He should change His mind.

Does He speak and then not act?

Does He promise and not fulfill?"

-Numbers 23:19

No Lord...no, You do not.  You speak, then act.  You promise, then fulfill.  You delight in giving good gifts to Your children, the best gift of all being Your presence and Your voice.  

Just as a closing encouragement, whatever it is you need now...guidance, financial provision, companionship, wisdom, patience, the list could go on and on...bring it our Father.  He's a good Dad, and He loves to provide for His children (Matthew 7:7-11).  He likes when we ask Him for what we desire, even though He knows better than us what we need, because He wants us to be honest in our relationship with Him.  He likes when we ask, so He can be glorified all the more when He answers! He is faithful, always faithful.

English, Music, & Baking...Such Simple Gateways!

This spring is going to fly by.  Since finals have ended and life is back to 'normal' (though really, when is it ever normal?), everyone has been coming out of the woodwork.  The good news is that word must be spreading throughout the students in the jumbo class of first years Taylor and I work as TAs for, because all of a sudden we've had a large influx of people who want to meet with us for conversation.  It's great because now when we go to (the excruciatingly boring) class, we feel like we finally have a large number of students we know as opposed to the slow trickle from the fall.

What I like about conversation lessons is that it's the perfect opportunity to get to know someone or share ideas- all we do is talk.  Since my first conversational student in the fall (Marco) brought matters to faith questions and is now reading the book of John, it's exciting to think of the way the Lord might use these hours of English practice.  One of my new girls is really shy in class, but opened up to me immediately in our first private meeting by telling me far more than I expected about herself and insecurities, to the point I felt more like I was in the cliche psychiatric setting than a "teacher"/student relationship.  For whatever reason the Lord has given me favor with her in the way she trusted me from the get-go (very shocking in this culture), so for her specifically I'm praying our language appointments transform into a true friendship...she really seems to be seeking one.

With Sharon (center) after her show!

In the last week and a half two of my friends have shown off their awesome voices and I've been able to see them shine.  Last Thursday (National Women's Day) my Irish friend Sharon blew us away at a jazz club, and since then I've been asking her more about her background in music.  Turns out she was part of a female trio a few years ago, signed by Universal Studios, and toured the UK for a few years.  Who knew?  I loved hearing her story, and why she ultimately walked away from the path the group was going down.

During our coffee date the afternoon following her Roman debut, I was almost robbed.  Two gypsy women approached us with their babies, asking for something about coffee.  Sharon and I were trying to figure out if they wanted us to buy them coffee, or wanted our cups, etc...the words were random and nonsensical.  While one was blocking my vision (really in my face), the other tried to slip some items from my purse under the blanket with her baby.  Fortunately my ipod headphones were still dangling out, so we were able to get everything out.  It surprised Sharon and I both, but it was quite funny to see yet another side of her as she jumped to my defense. Needless to say, we're both going to be more on guard in the coming months!

ours looks just a bit different
 than the picture...

This weekend was pretty much a "Sharon weekend" because to celebrate her birthday, my friend Wayne and I combined our baking skills to make her a cake.  From finding the right ingredients for a deluxe cake all in Italian to making a three tier cake when only one can fit in my tiny oven at a time, this turned into quite the baking adventure.  Well with more time always comes...more creativity! Wayne and I decided to make our cake unique to the one pictured in our book, throwing the idea for elegance out the window and going with "childlike creativity."  Also, we may or may not have improvised to make a three layer cake out of two pan so that we could eat the third layer that night with Taylor to test it out....Our tower cake made quite the impression when we surprised Sharon though, she was ridiculously excited to have her own birthday cake.  She celebrated her actual birthday in Ireland and didn't have cake at all! I'm seeing more and more how American desserts are a huge hit with all my European friends, regardless of nationality.  Maybe it's the massive amount of butter we use, or the heaps of sugar, or how we combine salty and sweet...whatever it is, I'm totally okay with using baking as a way to love on friends here.  Tonight Kyra and I are cooking a Southern dinner for the exchange students, and you know that means we're going to end the meal with something sweet.  Sharon had a funny story about the huge cake and one of her (Italian) roommates the day after.  She said she came into the kitchen and saw him eating the cake while waving his hands wildly and repeating in between bites "e una bomba! Una bomba, una bomba!"  In Italy any really good, really sweet dessert or pastry is called "a bomb," and Sharon was laughing because she had never seen him so excited about anything before as he was about this cake.

The Happy Birthday hippos are really what inspired the
deviation in cake styles...you just can't put
multi-colored hippos on a cake and expect it to look sophisticated.

Cristina, Francesco (bass), & the rest of their band

Last night I went to see Cristina, Francesco, and the rest of their band perform at a pub where one of the guys works.  He's about to leave to drive around Europe living out of his van, so the bar let all of them be the first to try live music.  It was a really good opportunity to reconnect with some of the people I met at Francesco's birthday party back in December, especially since in Italy your mere presence in the same vicinity as others supporting the same friend makes you part of the group.
Cristina's cousins, who are both very hostile to the gospel like many of the others there, were apparently asking about some people Taylor and I were hanging out with most of the night since they hadn't seen them before.  When they found out that one of the guys, a good friend of ours, is gay, they were absolutely shocked.  "Doesn't the Bible say you can't do that too?" "They're really friends?"  Apparently visible proof of our friendship in an area that countered the cousins' former exposure with "religious people" took them by surprise, and for once left them speechless instead of the usual knocks against Christianity.

I know all these things sound so simple, so 'normal life' rather than 'missionary life'...but really, that's what being a missionary in a city like Rome is all about.   We were talking about this a bit as a team this morning, how our ministry is truly relational and doing life with our friends.  The gospel is not a presentation, not something we can push here in one meeting and expect people to change all their prior beliefs immediately, not even something to say all the way through because most of our friends would walk away from us mid-sentence.  It's a lifestyle.  Every person I have met here, once we get to a point where they see I am genuine about my faith, has started to absolutely scrutinize all parts of the way I live.  As Taylor was saying, the majority of these people have never even met a believer before.  They're going to be curious. If we're sharing bits and pieces of our love for the Lord and truth with them, before we can hope that they will start to think about Jesus Christ in a Biblical light, we have to know they will want to know absolutely everything about what being a follower of Christ looks like in all arenas of life.  From the daily routine to behavior to future decisions, questions will be asked and observations will be made.  The research is important if they're considering investigating our God.  In some ways that's really scary, because we really do feel like each little thing we do or say is under a magnifying glass.  Thank goodness God is sovereign, and His grace and love shines through our humanity.  He brings people to Himself through all different avenues...He's big enough to use English lessons, musical appreciation, and even cakes to magnify His glory.  May it be so!

Playing Catch Up

Well, to state the obvious I'm a bit behind on updates.  My intent and goal before leaving for Italy was to write at least once a week, but now I've joined the ranks of what I hear happens to everyone the longer they're gone and a month later I'm trying to play catch up.  Although, if anyone could tell me what happened to February and if it even occurred this year, that'd be great...how we're already in March is beyond me!

February has been a wonderful month, full of the Lord's goodness.  The start of March has already been difficult, though full of the Lord's goodness.  Thankfully His goodness never depends on our circumstances, for He is always constant, always good, and always love.  Since it's been so eventful (hence the lapse in posts), I'll go for the brief recaps here:

• February started with a legendary snow for Rome.  For the first time in 26 years, Rome had snow that stuck to the ground in the first weekend.  Needless to say, the Italians were freaking out and it was quite amusing.  We didn't just get one weekend of snow, we went through the "crisi di neve" ("snow crisis", as quoted by the mayor of Rome) the second weekend too.

true to Italian style, of course this random
sidewalk snowman is smoking

• My language partner (a friend from the exchange) and I have started meeting for lunch fairly regularly.  At one of our more recent lunches, the Lord opened a door for a spiritual conversation and she started talking about what she believes, doesn't know, and how she wants to decide something for herself.  We are starting to read and discuss Matthew together, and as we made that decision she said "Maybe this will give me the answers I'm looking for."  Yes, Spirit, may that be!

Dad & I in Orvieto

• We had a few weeks off from classes and appointments since the semester at the university ended in early February.  The given break worked perfectly for me, because this month the two most important men in my life came to visit me and I took a mini-vacation.  My dad landed the weekend of the second snow, and we took a day trip to a small medieval town outside of Rome, Orvieto.  He also treated me to my first real burger since leaving the states (good ol' Hard Rock Cafe), and we had a great daddy-daughter weekend.  A couple days after he left, my boyfriend made the trip.  Long distance isn't the most fun thing, so it was wonderful to have a week actually together at my halfway point in Italy.  We had great time going around Rome, Florence, San Gimignano, and Bracciano. 

Jonathan & I in front of Castel Sant'Angelo

• The day before Jonathan left, my computer started dying that slow and painful Mac death.  This is the main reason I haven;'t been able to write in so long, I've spent a good deal of time trying to revive it.  Thankfully my team leader is a Mac guru and God will even perform technological miracles, so at the moment my computer is holding out!

• We finally had our sex trafficking awareness seminar last weekend.  Originally we had it scheduled for February 4th, but the Lord through the snow changed those plans.  We had a great turnout, and after giving basic info about sex trafficking and showing the Candy Shop (dubbed in Italian), the attendees engaged in a discussion about this problem and how we can help combat it.  Since the seminar we've had interest from a few of those who came about joining our outreaches to the women and transvestites, and we are so excited.  Even better, not all of those who want to help are believers, so we're praying the Lord will use this to bring freedom also to them!  

• March 1st brought some sad news from the home front.  After a long, full life, my Granddaddy passed away.  While ultimately I'm praising God for bringing him home, reuniting him with his wife, and giving him a new, restored body, being away from my family now is extremely difficult.  The last couple of days have really given me a picture of what it feels like for full-time missionaries...sometimes you just get so frustrated being so far away.  You can only go through trials and sadness with loved ones at home through prayer, same as you can only celebrate joyous occasions with a Skype call or email.  I'm thankful the Lord has given me this experience away, for now I have a better idea how to pray for missionaries who are geographically separated from family and friends indefinitely.